SVU Meets FanFiction
by OneFlewOverTheCuckoosNest
Summary: Elliot stumbles upon a fanfiction site and things in the squadroom get a little interesting...   *I own nothing!


**First story! I'm so excited!**

**Okay, so this was a general idea that I saw going around and, YES! I realize it's been done before but I really needed a fun/interesting topic to start out with. So, here you go: the detectives at SVU discover what fans are saying about their characters and relationships. Reviews welcome, but I won't beg for 'em.**

**Enjoy!(:**

Elliot Stabler folded his hands over his head and leaned back in his chair. A bemused smirk was plastered on his face and he raised an eyebrow.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"What's up?" Olivia asked looking up from her desk, eyes narrowed with curiosity.

"Well," Stabler cleared his throat and lightly jerked his head towards his computer, "do you remember the perp we arrested last week who claimed he was a 'creative writer' and posted his crimes online in explicit detail? I checked his website to use as evidence, and no lie, the guys a sick bastard, but—"

"But?" Olivia interrupted.

Stabler cocked his head to the side. "In my search, I happened to find this website that lets people post their own original stories about whatever they want." He beckoned for her to join him on his side of the conjoined desks, "Liv, there's an entire section on our SVU squad."

"So is it like one of those fiction pages?" she asked leaning in towards the monitor. After a brief pause she looked taken slightly aback, then laughed.

"I don't believe this!" Olivia exclaimed playfully rounding on Elliot, "You're reading a story about Munch and Fin being gay with each other?" She stood up straight and eyed him, "_You_ should be the one getting shipped off to Riker's. Who the hell wrote it?"

Elliot shrugged his shoulders, hands still folded on his head, "Obviously some lunatic who thinks Munch has a secret burning passion to see Fin undress himself."

"Have you been reading my journal again?" Munch strode into the room smoothly with a coffee in his right hand and placed it on his desk next to three empty cups. "Doesn't matter, just don't let Fin find out. It might make things awkward."

Elliot and Olivia both spun their heads. "Well John," Elliot started slowly, "I wouldn't be so sure about that because it seems like Fin returns the same…fiery feelings."

Munch shifted in his standing position, looking poised as usual. "I was mocking you."

Elliot sat up in his seat with a grin as Fin walked into the squad room muttering, "My ears are ringing."

"Ah, detective Tutuola," Munch raised his voice, "come! Join your comrades on this fine evening, I think it's time we should finally break the news."

Elliot chuckled and Olivia covered her mouth in attempt to contain her amusement.

Fin stopped in the middle of the room with a scowl. "I heard the words Fin, John and fiery in the same sentence and if you don't tell me why, I'mma break more than news…"

"Okay, come see this," Elliot turned the monitor towards his teammates, "you too, Munch."

Olivia backed out of the way as Fin and Munch got a closer look at what was on the screen. She and Elliot exchanged a brief glance of delight at the horror-stricken expression on Fin's face and the frown on Munch's.

"'The hell is this?" Fin glowered with his pale green eyes. He grimaced as he read on and it turned into bewilderment. ", huh? Buncha weird ass kids out there." Fin shook his head and whisked around to his desk and dropped a file on a stack of papers; Munch continued reading and remained quite stolid.

"You can't blame them," Olivia teased, "you two would make a lovely couple."

"Apparently, they think you and Stabler would also," Munch replied while looking over the top of his square glasses, "read this one."

Elliot grabbed the mouse away from John, his eyes wide. "_Olivia Stabler: Partner, Best Friend, Wife_," he quoted.

Olivia had stopped smiling and shifted uncomfortably, crossing her arms.

"It gets better," Munch said mischievously, "read the introduction, but I warn you, it definitely starts out with a bang, and I'm talking hot and heavy—"

"Munch!" Olivia held up a hand, "Is this really necessary?"

"Well considering the fact that I now have someone's sexual fantasies of me and my partner embedded in my mind for the rest of my life, you could show some courtesy and share in the humiliation." Munch said this with his back to her and reached for his cup of coffee.

Fin began to laugh as he caught sight of Stabler's beet-red face, "Oh _now_ you gotta tell us," he said pointing his finger and shaking his hand.

"Not a chance in hell," Elliot said abruptly, turning off the monitor and slowly rotating towards his team, "I think we've had enough with this."

"Couldn't agree more," said Benson on her way back to her seat.

"Like hell," Fin retorted as he opened his internet, "what was the name of that story?"

"_Olivia Stabler: Partner, Best Friend, Wife_." Munch chimed in, eagerly making his way over to position himself behind his partner.

"Hey," Elliot had a warning tone to his voice, "I said no more of this crap!"

"Chapter One:" Munch began, clearly not feeling threatened by him, "_'He caressed her body, wanting to explore every bit of it. Elliot realized how beautiful Olivia truly was. Her golden-brown hair flowed from her head like silk, her physique was strong and incredibly sexy, but her dark eyes are what really melted his heart. He couldn't resist, and grabbed her by the waist—"_

"Dammit John!" Olivia and Elliot shouted in unison jumping out of their chairs. She slapped her files down and put her hands on her waist, rolling her eyes with slight irritation while Elliot glared angrily.

"Ay chill," Fin said coolly, "you don't have to get so defensive, but see, it's not as funny when it's about you…"

"El," Olivia put her hand on his shoulder and sighed, "it's okay, it's probably just some obsessive, hormonally confused teenagers writing about their fantasies through two other people, alright?"

Elliot hesitated in his place, then took a breath and said, "Yeah. Yeah, you're right, sorry." He rubbed a hand down his face. "It's just makes me think of what would happen if Kathy saw it. I don't need another reason to argue."

Olivia took her hand off his shoulder.

"The things people won't do for attention," Munch said as he cut between them.

"Hey listen to this," Fin had another smile on his face as he directed the statement towards Olivia, "It sounds like Elliot isn't your only love interest. I got titles here sayin' things like_ War-ben-vak: _Novak being found guilty of pleasure amongst her coworkers. _Alex/Olivia __Slash: _A night of innocent rounds leads to much more than the ADA and Detective bargained for."

"And I wasn't invited?" Munch exclaimed and froze before he sat down.

"This isn't happening," Olivia groaned, throwing her head back.

"Hormonally confused?" Elliot whispered, "More like psychologically screwed up."

"I'm tellin' you," he said louder to the room, "these are exactly the kind of people who have a greater chance of becoming sexually obsessive, even sexually abusive or sadistic."

"It's all in the fun," Munch replied placing his feet on the desk next to his phone, "They're not trying to be malicious, just inventive. You don't read many erotic novels nowadays but I'm sure they do it for the benefit of other to whack off to."

"It wouldn't surprise me if you had an account…" Fin muttered. "But I got some'in' on Cragen, check it out."

The three squad members looked intently, awaiting Fin's continuance:

"_Cranky Kraken Cragen, Chapter One. Everyone on the team had been getting laid. Olivia was sleeping around between Elliot and Alex, Fin, Munch and Huang were all together on weekends, and Melinda Warner…well with her husband. 'She deals with dead bodies,' the captain would think, 'how the hell is she married anyways?' _

_But it didn't matter. Eventually Cragen became so lonely and evil that his skin shriveled up. He was always yelling at his squad members, calling for Elliot and Olivia to see his booty call, the Chief of D's, who had now dumped Cragen for them and always seemed to be around. This turned Cragen mean. He was in so much emotional agony that he made loud screeching noises, and amblers in the station often mistook him for a Kraken. _

_There was no hope left for Captain Kraken—I mean Cragen…"_

There was a long pause.

"My favorite part was the relationship with the Chief of D's," Munch mumbled.

"That was a waste of time," Elliot said slowly while rubbing his eyes.

"But not untrue, yuh think?" Fin asked.

"Could be," added Olivia, "I've never seen him with another woman…"

"That's because my wife's dead."

A frosty voice spoke from the entrance to the squad room. They all whipped around to see Captain Cragen standing with his hands in his pockets, composed as ever. He waved a finger.

"All of you, my office. Now."


End file.
